Jessica. 23. From Seoul, residing in Baltimore. I like funny stuff. I don't own jack shit on this site unless if I say so... I'm pretty good about not lying, so you can believe me.
As a chick who wants to slim down and be a skinny, fit, hot piece of ass, I often find myself in need of motivation, something that’ll make me go, “I wanna look like her.” I’ll tell you my go-to source of “GIRL, GETCHO ASS TO THE GYM AND STOP EATING THAT JUNK FOOD!”
It’s porn.
I’ve gone from 165 lbs (74.8 kg) to 148 lbs (67.1 kg) in the last two months. Tell me I’m not onto something! I just…
Last week I essentially asked Nick where our relationship was going. I told him I thought I was better than a fuck buddy and should be upgraded to girlfriend status. He said he’d give me an answer in a week, so I waited with bated breath for the end of our time together because anyone who has to think about being with you for a weekalready knows they don’t want you and just need to figure a way…
What with my apartment hunting efforts slowly going down the drain, I’ve been forced to use Craigslist as a means to find a place to live.
Dear Readers, I’m gonna state the fucking obvious here: Craigslist is a sketchy ass place. I’m pretty sure I could buy authentic severed-monkey-feet sippy cups if I looked hard enough.
The first dude I talked to on the phone in regards to living in his house…
“What a shitty rhyme,” I thought. “And I think I’ll stay alive and hope joy finds me by accident before I start paying rent to Satan.”
With all the people I’ve pissed off in my life, I know my dance card is going to be full when I make it to the welcoming ball in Hades. Better push off that date for as long as I can.
I had to look at a bunch of apartments today in northern Virginia, and my buddy Zach decided to tag along. I should’ve told him to fuck off because he made a general mess of everything by flirting with the leasing office ladies, eating all the free snacks, saying we “needed only the best apartments because Jess a spoiled princess,” and asking to look at two bedroom units when I had scheduled for…
I bet she’s said, “Screw the condoms; just press record,” on many occasions. She’s lucky no man about to fuck believes in STDs.
Jess, you ever think about becoming a writer?
Nah, I can’t handle mind games and emotional pain like writers can. I’d rather be beaten like a normal person. I already have to drink a pint of the devil’s piss at the exact moment the sun goes down to keep the demons of my…
I worked for one day at a restaurant and decided I should probably get the hell out before something bad happened.
Oh, where to start? The manager didn’t have me fill out a W2 when I started working because he said, “Not a lot of people make it here, not even for a week, so we’ll see how you do.” Red flag number one. And I guess he was right because I didn’t go back yesterday.
